It's that time again....WB5!

So I'm starting to think I should have named my blog "The Drunk Adventures of Floosie McBoosie and Her Wild Band Beer Broads". You peeps who haven't talked to me in awhile are probably beginning to think that's all I do - drink and watch crazy bands at The Powerhouse Pub! I try to think of other witty crap that happens in my daily life but this stuff is the best..so I guess that's what I'll blog about AGAIN!!!!

It wasn't anyone's birthday this time just a fun night out with the ladies but since we've celebrated a lot of birthdays over the last few months (three) a few of us (three well four because we can't forget the dance contest Krissy won) have VIP passes to PHP (Powerhouse Pub for those of you just joining the fun!) I know I know you're jealous...don't be I can get myself and a friend in for FREEE for the next 90 days so call me and I'll put you on the waiting list! I can't guarantee you will ever be my plus one but just to be on the list - well you're life will be complete at that point! My plus one this visit was everyone's favorite lesbian, my girl and your's (drum rolllllll)  

ERIN!!! Now in my last blog I told you people she was single WTH happened to the calls?! How the hell am I supposed to hook a sista up if you don't take the first step? I'll get you her digits all you gotta do is ask!!! Well Erin being the only lesbian was in homo heaven last night and she got A LOT of action friends!!! She made out twice with a random bachelorette who had a list of things she needed to accomplish before the night was over...one of them being make out with a random lesbian! Now she had to do it twice because I couldn't get the camera to work...You're welcome Erin!!! She even got completely felt up by Jean Claude Van Dork on the dance floor sending her to homo hell!!! You're welcome Jean Claude Van Dork...my condolences Erin! So here are a few of her best shots....

Notice her hand....

Once again - You're welcome for my drunk camera operating abilities....

Damn that dollar bill got around at least that's what I think she is trying to get....

So I was completely intoxicated from a juicebox I had on the way which would explain this face....I know! There was no music at the restaurant so don't ask because it's all a little fuzzy! Whatever...let's just say the girls we're doing things with my camera that should probably not be done in a restaurant especially when there was a two year old in footy jams in the bar! I mean seriously what kind of irresponsible parent brings their two year old in footy jams to a bar...not any of us! That is a whole other blog for a much different day - back to the fun! You might recognize the beautiful red head in the pic with me as the ever illusive Nora...the seas parted and the planets aligned because SHE ACTUALLY MADE IT OUT WITH US...it's a springtime miracle! I am so glad she did because she is one fun lady..another naughty little mommy is this one right here...This my friends is Jen! Jen has been invited to the party before but all us VMS teachers (well Nicole and I) thought she was too scared - boy were we WRONG!!!! I really wanted to show you some of the antics that should not occur with a two year old in the bar but I think I might get reported as an X rated blog so you'll just have to use your imagination. Jen's giving you a hint in the photo...Close your eyes and think....oh screw it I'll just tell you! She is about to let her $9000 puppies out of the pen! You're welcome boys!!! Here are a few of the antics that could make the cut....

I didn't realize the amount of girl on girl action that went down until now...damn I guess the theme of the night was " I kissed a girl and I liked it"! Oh well  hi ho hi ho over to the PHP we go for some Wonderbread 5 action! Now Angela was a WB5 virgin and boy did she get her cherry popped! I forgot you haven't meet Angela - well formally anyway she was in my bday blog...Angela is Krissy's sis in law so we're family considering Krissy is the other half of my vanilla wafer! We rocked it out to WB5's first set and that damn dollar bill showed up half way through...How did that get there? You're welcome guitar player that I don't know your name because I am only friends with Jeff on Facebook! And btw what the hell did you do with my spoon I was using it as a microphone and a whip stick?! You let Merritt keep her's - damn!

Dance floor photo montage.....

 

First set ends and we take a much needed potty/water break and also drunk call Krissy who if you hadn't already noticed was missing from the party. Lucky B is in Orlando at DisneyWorld for spring break...messages left back out to the floor to gear up for set #2! Nora, Erin and myself are running on fumes at this point but I know that we need to rally for our friend Angela, the WB5 virgin, because she needs to get the complete experience. Set two starts and there are these two chicks in front of us texting and not dancing...hey broads no parkin on the dance floor didn't you get the memo!? So Angela and I try to annoy them enough to leave but they will not budge! We even sent Jean Claude Van Dork their way, who also got no result! Due to our previous experience at PHP we started checking out the balcony to see if there were any spots up there because that is prime dancing real estate to be taken! JACKPOT - all clear so we head up and it takes Jeff a minute to realize we have left him with the textin/parkin on the dance floor hoes but then he spots us...

Jeff snaps the shot, heads up to join us and close one rockin show! I tired to get my damn camera to work but I was really tired and really drunk so no photo documentation of Jeff singing back up with us! Sorry maybe next month when we meet again WB5 and Guitar Boy find my damn spoon! I was forced to use a water bottle microphone for the entire second half of the show which I can rock but it's not as fashionable!

Thank you to my girls and Wonder Bread 5 for a fun filled evening of drunken foolishness and I will consider the new blog name....Until next time Floosie McBoosie out!

Powerhouse Pub Birthday Club - My Style

March 2010

We celebrated everyone's BFF's birthday this month - Gina...OMG that's me! I would like to thank the Academy and all the little people who made this happen...you love me,  you really love me! Oh wait what I didn't win an award it's just my birthday?..sorry back to the story!

So I turn 35 this month...today I am still 34 but next week that will change. By now you guys should know the drill - Powerhouse Pub and this month a great band called Tainted Love. The players this month were my girls from VMS and two blasts from my past, present and future...wanna meet em?

Introducing Lisa and Angi.....

So Lisa (on the right) is like my sister, we have known each other since we were two years old and our Mamas are BFFs! We have shared family vacations together, many ups and downs - she's my people! Now Angi (on the left) is going to kill me but I am willing to take the hit...She is beautiful and fellas she's single! Recently appearing in Sacramento Magazine as one of Sacramento's most eligible bachelorettes - how and why she has not been snatched up I don't know. I told her Millionaire Matchmaker - Come on Ang let's do this!

We all meet up at the Hacienda Restaurant for some drinks and snacks! Nicole, Crystal and I wasted absolutely no time at all getting the party started. Crystal ordered something called a Berry Horny Margarita and I had a Playmate..Nicole decided to stick with Coors Light. I sucked the Playmate down with a straw in about 10 seconds and moved onto my staple beverage of choice - Malibu and Pineapple..Love it! Everyone arrives, we pay the bill - which I hope no one left a tip because our waitress SUCKED and we bounced to the Powerhouse Pub!

As you know when Krissy and I get together we like to drunk text people but this time no one was really playing our game. Hold on let me check my phone because we might have gotten a few responses..apparently we did some returns. Our girl -Erin E, she is always willing to play our game.  She is our favorite lesbian and she's single ladies so just hit me up if you're interested - I'll see what I can do! It's been said in recent weeks that I know all the lesbians - people I know 4! It could be 5 but Dee refuses to bring her imaginary GF to our monthly Garcia's meeting..whatever! We didn't get too crazy with E this time but tic tacs were brought out and you missed it. I do have other photos but Luscious said "NO YOU CAN'T" so I won't...Sorry you'll just have to dream about it!

We also drunk texted Nora and Pedar! I recently acquired Pedar's phone# so it was on like Donkey Kong but he must have been somewhere with his lovely wife Nora so he played a few times but that was it..oh what's that you want to meet Pedar..Ok I'll stalk him on FB...This is him with Nora! We love them both! Nora is super cool and Pedar drives 57 in a 55 - I mean what a rebel how can you not love him?! Anything is better with Pedar - huh Krissy!?

Our final victim was Jamie..she like me also loves the gays! Is that the wrong way to say that? Oh well if you know me PC is not my style - the 4 lesbians I know won't be offended so F-bomb it! Ok so back to why Jamie loves the gays as much as me...she was in San Diego for her sis' bachelorette party so I gave her a pass to miss the party but we had to text her! She was kickin it with drag queens! Who doesn't love drag queens? Well we love and missed you Jamie! I didn't kiss Krissy or slap her ass for either you or E..I'm sorry I just realized those requested were made- MY BAD!

Drunk texting over we enter the PHP and Krissy gets with the Captian! They have a deep love affair which I have with Krissy as well but I can only hope my love affair with Krissy is half as much as her's with the Captain - I know sad to think. We check in and they inform us we are upstairs - Awesome! We get up there and we are on the far end so being me I switch the reserved signs of another party with mine and now we are right by the band! I am so stealth they didn't even know what hit em! We now have this HUGE area to kick it in and the people I switched with are smashed like sardines in my old area oh well that's how I roll!

 

The hypnotist, Terry Stokes Jr, was the opening act so Nicole decides it's her turn to get up on stage. She tries really hard to get hypnotized but the shiz didn't work - DAMN IT!!! I wanted her who-ha to talk to her...Terry actually made that happen to a girl! Here's the pics of Nic's attempt...Gotta love her for trying!

The band comes on and let the shenanigans begin. Lisa and Angi bolt down below to hit the mosh pit..all of us had been down there many, many times so we decided to stay up top and hang over the railing like idiots. Crystal is a brawler, Nicole needs space to get her boogie on and I was playing bouncer in my area because there were party crashers. I am super tough - yeah right - I was having too much fun to even care! I asked the party crashers if they knew me they said yeah so I let em stay! Plus they knew the band or so they said but they bought me a bday drink so F-bomb it! 

Pause for the cause people...what the hell are these two doing? Is this the 8th grade dance we just entered or what?

All dissing aside we had a blast! I know it was a blast because I jacked my knee up and I have a huge bump on my head! The knee injury no clue how that happened but I can tell you I smacked the doo doo out of my head when Nicole and I were searching for the gum that fell out of her mouth. I finally told her it was probably in someone's hair down below us! Tainted Love rocked - they are now one of our favs!

All in all great birthday celebration! Thanks to all my peeps for joining me and those of you who couldn't we missed you! Nicole and Angela you two rocked it out with me - I love it!

We were in rare form..OOWWWW!!! Hopefully this is just a warm up for next month cause it is a double whammy...stay tuned for the

Powerhouse Pub Birthday Club - Erin & Kathleen Style!

(They're gonna be 40! Officially Cougars - meow!)

Livin on a Prayer

A couple of weeks ago I asked my Mama what she was going to get me for my birthday. I mean I am her only child and I am turning 35 - good lord I can't be that old! I definately don't feel it! So she says "I'm not sure what do you want?" I know exactly what I want but do I hesitate and play coy with her or just bust it out in my normal only child (from my Mom - have a sis from my Dad but that is a whole other story for a much different day!) manner in which I throw myself on the floor and kick and scream until she gives me what I want -

PSYCH - 

My mom would bust out the wooden paddle from Folsom Prison that Lisa used to hide if I tried that crap! Anyways I tell her that I really want to see Bon Jovi at Arco Arena her response is "You like Bon Jovi?"

MAMA WHAT?

HELL YES I like Bon Jovi and I proceed to have her recall the super awesome routine I made up to "Livin on Prayer" in sixth grade with my friend Marla..She doesn't remember but oh well probably a good thing she says she saw him on Ellen and that he's super cute and that we'll go together! If you're me that is SICK because I haven't done something like that with my Mom for I don't know how long. I get the tickets and then have to wait like two freakin weeks! Oh well gave me time to brush up on my Bon Jovi singing skills - thank you RockBand 2!

Now my Mom is a Big $pender so we were right in the front.. The pic's a little blurry I was excited people check out how close I am - You would be too!

PSYCH-

We were in the upper deck this was my actual view still pretty good

Or so we thought... Now I understand this is a rock concert and I am all for rockin out (as you know) but I wanted to beat the broads two rows down from us with one of their many empty beer cups. We had the cutest mom and daughters foursome directly in front of us and I felt so sorry for them because instead of seeing Bon Jovi they saw a gaggle of drunk Cougars shake their flat asses all night! I had to stand most of the evening causing the people behind me to leave because they got so irritated - I apologized and explained I couldn't see anything which they already knew. Then my Mom and I thought the Red Sea had parted and the planets aligned because the Gaggle actually sat down - both of us looked at each other and clapped and cheered as loud as we could...moment of glory over 5 minutes later because they stood up to sway back in forth to "I'll Be There for You" and proceed to try to get their 60 year old friend who had passed out in her chair to join them - I would assume it was because she was too wasted but it could have been because it was past her bedtime -IDK!

As I previously stated I am all for rockin out but when you are the only 4 fools on the entire right side of Arco Arena ( I actually looked around and they were) sit the F-bomb down so the rest of us who paid to get in can freakin see the show! Here's some advice to you 4 fools and your passed out drunk 60 year old friend...

1. Jon Bon Jovi cannot see you or hear you - you were in the upper deck 15-16 rows up from the bottom!

2. Jon Bon Jovi is WAAYY TOO old for you! Did you forget you are Cougars? He would have had to be about 25 years younger for you to get him in your stable!

3. Even if he were 25 years younger you weren't hot Cougars so you wouldn't have got him in your stable anyway!

4. Jon Bon Jovi is happily married and has been for a long, long time! Sorry groupies!

Hope you take my advice and listened to what my Mom said to you after the concert and sit your inconsiderate asses down next time. We both didn't really care for our sake so much we felt sorry for the three little girls sitting directly behind you who had to endure watching you shake your flat asses ALL NIGHT LONG instead of getting to enjoy a Bon Jovi concert with their mom. You're straight up F-bomb rude! Here's my payback to you

 drunk Cougars in Section 212 Row N Seats 1-6....

Dinner with my Mom - $40

Tickets to Bon Jovi - $75

Your flat rude Cougar asses on the internet for everyone to see - Priceless

Ok I feel better now and want to personally thank Jon Bon Jovi for singing back up for me as I belted out my favorite Bon Jovi jams and the closing song of the evening "Livin' on a Prayer"

Thank you Sacramento and Good Night!