Livin on a Prayer

A couple of weeks ago I asked my Mama what she was going to get me for my birthday. I mean I am her only child and I am turning 35 - good lord I can't be that old! I definately don't feel it! So she says "I'm not sure what do you want?" I know exactly what I want but do I hesitate and play coy with her or just bust it out in my normal only child (from my Mom - have a sis from my Dad but that is a whole other story for a much different day!) manner in which I throw myself on the floor and kick and scream until she gives me what I want -

PSYCH - 

My mom would bust out the wooden paddle from Folsom Prison that Lisa used to hide if I tried that crap! Anyways I tell her that I really want to see Bon Jovi at Arco Arena her response is "You like Bon Jovi?"

MAMA WHAT?

HELL YES I like Bon Jovi and I proceed to have her recall the super awesome routine I made up to "Livin on Prayer" in sixth grade with my friend Marla..She doesn't remember but oh well probably a good thing she says she saw him on Ellen and that he's super cute and that we'll go together! If you're me that is SICK because I haven't done something like that with my Mom for I don't know how long. I get the tickets and then have to wait like two freakin weeks! Oh well gave me time to brush up on my Bon Jovi singing skills - thank you RockBand 2!

Now my Mom is a Big $pender so we were right in the front.. The pic's a little blurry I was excited people check out how close I am - You would be too!

PSYCH-

We were in the upper deck this was my actual view still pretty good

Or so we thought... Now I understand this is a rock concert and I am all for rockin out (as you know) but I wanted to beat the broads two rows down from us with one of their many empty beer cups. We had the cutest mom and daughters foursome directly in front of us and I felt so sorry for them because instead of seeing Bon Jovi they saw a gaggle of drunk Cougars shake their flat asses all night! I had to stand most of the evening causing the people behind me to leave because they got so irritated - I apologized and explained I couldn't see anything which they already knew. Then my Mom and I thought the Red Sea had parted and the planets aligned because the Gaggle actually sat down - both of us looked at each other and clapped and cheered as loud as we could...moment of glory over 5 minutes later because they stood up to sway back in forth to "I'll Be There for You" and proceed to try to get their 60 year old friend who had passed out in her chair to join them - I would assume it was because she was too wasted but it could have been because it was past her bedtime -IDK!

As I previously stated I am all for rockin out but when you are the only 4 fools on the entire right side of Arco Arena ( I actually looked around and they were) sit the F-bomb down so the rest of us who paid to get in can freakin see the show! Here's some advice to you 4 fools and your passed out drunk 60 year old friend...

1. Jon Bon Jovi cannot see you or hear you - you were in the upper deck 15-16 rows up from the bottom!

2. Jon Bon Jovi is WAAYY TOO old for you! Did you forget you are Cougars? He would have had to be about 25 years younger for you to get him in your stable!

3. Even if he were 25 years younger you weren't hot Cougars so you wouldn't have got him in your stable anyway!

4. Jon Bon Jovi is happily married and has been for a long, long time! Sorry groupies!

Hope you take my advice and listened to what my Mom said to you after the concert and sit your inconsiderate asses down next time. We both didn't really care for our sake so much we felt sorry for the three little girls sitting directly behind you who had to endure watching you shake your flat asses ALL NIGHT LONG instead of getting to enjoy a Bon Jovi concert with their mom. You're straight up F-bomb rude! Here's my payback to you

 drunk Cougars in Section 212 Row N Seats 1-6....

Dinner with my Mom - $40

Tickets to Bon Jovi - $75

Your flat rude Cougar asses on the internet for everyone to see - Priceless

Ok I feel better now and want to personally thank Jon Bon Jovi for singing back up for me as I belted out my favorite Bon Jovi jams and the closing song of the evening "Livin' on a Prayer"

Thank you Sacramento and Good Night!